Present.
“I don’t have a job at the moment but there is no way I would work with you at your office”, I told my partner as I stood up from the dining table and headed towards the kitchen sink.
“I wouldn’t want that either”, he responded almost immediately.
At least he and I are on the same page regarding this — I told myself in relief.
I wonder how they do it.
…
Past
It was a Monday morning, an unusual day and time to host someone. But we couldn’t just refuse. They were visiting our city for an important official work and wanted us to babysit their two young children for some hours.
I am usually home during the day, either writing or applying for jobs. Sure, one afternoon with two beautiful kids won’t harm me much. So, we agreed. They arrived a little after ten in the morning after driving non-stop for 3 hours.
They are our family friends and quite older to us in age. We are not particularly fond of them but we enjoy the company of their kids and we feel it is nice to hang out with them every once in a while.
My partner was at work and so it was just me and them that morning. I made chai for everyone and we sat there on the couch, simply talking and catching up. They still had a couple of hours before they had to leave for that important work.
In the due course of conversation, I was expecting that question and so it sprung up —
“So what about your job?” he asked curiously.
“I am taking it easy at the moment”, I replied with a confident smile.
In my heart, I know that I am comfortable staying at home until I find something permanent and something that I really really want. But every time someone asks me that question, I feel a slight hesitation. I suddenly feel the need to explain and to also make it clear that I am actually fine with my ‘no job’ status.
No, I don’t compare myself to my peers. They all have good jobs and great salaries. I am happy for them, but I am also not sorry for myself.
“That’s good, you should take your time”, he tried to comfort me.
“By the way, did we tell you that tomorrow is her first day at work?” he added, breaking the awkward silence.
Yes, that’s him. He won’t let his wife speak, no matter what. He always feels the need to brag everything about his family himself, which is so annoying at times.
“Omg, really!” I exclaimed in disbelief. “Where?” I asked, trying to look happy for her.
He said it as if it was his accomplishment or something but he looked very proud of himself when he shared that she will be joining him at his company.
“That’s great”, I said, still trying to chew the fact that she, a lady 10 years older to me, with no specific career ambition or prior work experience will now be making money at a job which is completely unrelated to her field of study. She has been a home maker during all of her married life. She is smart and talented and devoted herself to raising children. She is an amazing cook and my husband and I often suggested to her that she should start tiffin services and become financially independent.
I won’t deny. Deep down, I always wanted that she step her foot outside of her home. I really respect her and knowing her for a couple of years, I was sure that professionally, she would perform really well if given a chance. After the surprise element faded, I was glad for her.
…
Joblessness is not a great time to feel happy, genuinely happy for someone. There is always a feeling of being left out. Even when you do not compare yourself to others, you feel that life is unfair to you and that you have struggle more than others.
Given the increasing standard of living and inflation, we all could use a second income in the house, not to mention we all have travel ambitions and expensive wish lists. As they say —
To be happy for others, you need to be happy for yourself first.
Despite everything going on inside my head, I tried my best to look unaffected. As I was sliding from one thought to the next, something hit me —
Wait, they are going to be working at the same office. They will be commuting to work together and live together in the same house!
I could NEVER do that!
Suddenly, my sympathies redirected towards her. Maybe they will be okay having each other around 24×7, who knows!
…
That Monday morning discussion made me curious, will I ever agree to work in the same office as my partner? My answer was a big and a clear NO.
It is a different thing that both our educational backgrounds are entirely different and there would never be a work setting that could use both our skills at the same time. He is an engineer and I am not. Perhaps that is why, the thought of us working together doesn’t seem right.
But assuming we did share the same industry, I would still want to pursue my career independently and in a separate space than him. In fact I believe that independent and separate careers is helping us keep our marriage smooth. We feel that where there is a difference, there is a scope to talk, to discuss and to learn. There is so much support and motivation between us for each of our careers, even when one is successful and the other is trying.
If you’d ask, we want our marriage to fuel our careers and not the other way round.
I want to know — what are your thoughts?
I may have come off as strongly opinionated in this regard, but I am really curious —
How they do it?
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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The post Would You and Your Partner Work Together at the Same Office? appeared first on The Good Men Project.